I have a few rambling thoughts on motherhood.
Here's the thing, I'm not a very passionate person. That's why I married Zach! He's the most passionate person I know. He can get you pumped up about skim milk. A prime example would be radiography. I have a college degree, I even passed my boards... but I have never attempted to have a career in it nor do I desire to. I did the co-op program in high school where you go to school half of the day and then work the other half. I think it was mostly for teen parents who understandably needed to earn a wage or those entering a trade. I just didn't feel like going to school all day. (I realize mostly what I am describing here is laziness.) One of the assignments was to describe your future career and the steps you would take to get there. The only thing I could really get behind and see myself doing was being a wife and mother. But that was pushed to the back of my mind because it couldn't be a legitimate desire, right? You're supposed to want more for yourself and change the world slash women's suffrage movement, etcetera, etcetera. Then stuff kind of went out of order and boom I was a mother. And like a light switch my passion switch was forcefully flipped to on.
Motherhood gave me purpose. Albeit sometimes it seemed inconvenient and overwhelming, but with time and the right mindset; fulfilling (sometimes that mindset needs to be readjusted on the daily... nay hourly.) Our children stretch me and refine me beyond anything I could imagine and I am thankful for that. I feel that passion well up in my throat, a really hard knot to swallow. I've been getting a lot of well-meaning comments lately about my plans for after the kids are all in school. It has caught me off guard because that day feels so far away (remind me to eat those words when the day is here.) I hate to feel irked by it because I know no one is implying that this job will stop then. As we are learning with Reagan, once you get one challenge mastered they throw you a brand new problem to handle. The job never ends. And I really do love it (I can say that right now because they are all sleeping cherubs, but I change my tune real quick when someone is trying to bite the back of my legs. I'm looking at you Shepherd.) Anyway, my point is I don't think I will ever find anything more satisfying than being a mom. It was exactly what I thought it would be but also nothing like I thought it would be. I know you know.
I love our family of five but almost even better, I really like them all too.
Enough of that. For Mother's Day this year we took my mom to Starved Rock and met my brother Drew there. We hiked the whole dang thing and it felt good.
Mother nature being its' usual gross self. Wink.
Happy Mother's Day from me and my wide stance!