"I am your quiet place, you are my wild."
MaryAnn K. Cusimano
Last Fall I went to a women's retreat at my mom's church. One of the guest speakers was an associate pastor at the church when I was growing up, I hadn't seen her for at least 10 years. Her and her husband had recently adopted a super sweet little boy. At the end of the conference I stole a few of the centerpieces to do the erupting pumpkin stuff with Reagan. Shep tagged along with me for the conference because I was nursing him and as I was walking out we stopped to reconnect with Laurie and see her new one. She noticed I had stolen a few of the pumpkins and I explained to her my little science experiment. I found myself telling her how fun boys are. She laughed and shook her head recognizing this stage of life I'm in. I then acknowledged how different my life turned out. In 8th grade, I would come to the confirmation class that she led in my cheer uniform right after a basketball game and I danced at the studio a million hours a week. I lived in my own little world where everything revolved around getting together with my bff's for sleepovers or meeting up with my boyfriend (cough.husband.cough) at the mall.
Goodnessgracious. I am now a mom to BOYS. awesome-gross-energetic-sweatyhead-loud BOYS. I bring refreshments to soccer and baseball practices, I put lego's together for hours at a time, I point out trains and garbage trucks even while alone in the car and I know, through personal experience, that it doesn't matter what age-- all boys smell.
Would it be accurate to say I was kind of a prissy little girl? Ever since the beginning, I insisted on doing my own eyeliner and buns for dance competitions. Don't have a camera? That's okay, I'll still pose. I remember being chastised for bringing a book to the ISU basketball games.
In my mind it would have been so fun to dress a girl up... to give her sock curls the night before church and take her to ballet class (while supplementing with lessons at home of course.) Could you even handle getting pedicures together?!
But now? Boys are my jam.
I could have never pictured anything better, more rewarding, more humbling... I love it. The background music to my house is filled with firetruck sirens and animal growls. Without thinking, the words "gentle please," "I'm right here, stop yelling" and "walk your feet" leave my mouth.
They love so hard.
ANNNND. I get to pick out their cute clothes foreverrrrr because they could really care less!
So the gist of this is I'm blessed beyond what I deserve. Our plans are never as sweet as our God's. Maybe one day we'll add a girl to the mix but if not that's okay too, I am content and loving these little men of ours.